


Getting Over It

by sup_ma_boi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abusive Grisha Yeager, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Eren Yeager, College Student Eren Yeager, Flashbacks, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, Grisha rapes Eren, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Incest, Long-Haired Eren Yeager, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Nipple Play, Panic Attacks, Porn Watching, Top Jean Kirstein
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:08:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28603452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sup_ma_boi/pseuds/sup_ma_boi
Summary: Heterosexuality had been forced onto Eren since the day he was born. His father was a raging homophobe, and his mother wasn't particularly the strongest woman, so his father was often allowed to force his toxic masculinity onto his young son.(alternatively titled: Eren and the Quest to Get Over His Internalized Homophobia)
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager
Comments: 5
Kudos: 136





	1. The Beginning

Heterosexuality had been forced onto Eren since the day he was born. His father was a raging homophobe, and his mother wasn't particularly the strongest woman, so his father was often allowed to force his toxic masculinity onto his young son. 

At the age of fourteen, Eren had his first homosexual experience. It was in the football locker room. He'd seen a friend's dick, which was way bigger than Eren's because his friend was sixteen and almost fully developed. Eren's cheeks had flushed, and he threw his clothes on and rushed to his father's truck.

"Are you alright, Eren?"

"I um... I saw my friend's..." Eren started, casting his gaze down to the floor of the truck. He could almost hear his father's anger growing.

"What's so bad about seeing your friend's dick? You don't feel anything, do you?" his father asked knowingly. "I wouldn't want my son to turn out a fucking fag."

"I... I did, but I don't know what to do--"

"You don't need to do anything except forget. I will not have a faggot in my house! You'll find a nice girl, and you'll forget all about that gay shit."

"But I don't--"

"I said you'll forget it, Eren!"

Eren sighed and pursed his lips, fiddling with his fingers and trying to cover his crotch with his arms.

When he returned home, Eren zoomed to his bedroom and closed his door. Despite his father's words, the boy couldn't stop himself from thinking about his friend's dick and the sheer size of it. Eren had only seen dicks that big in porn but never in real life. Eren's father's penis wasn't even that big!

Speaking of porn...

Eren flopped on his bed and opened his computer, opening incognito mode and typing 'pornhub.com' into the search bar. Within seconds, hundreds of videos of women getting fucked by men appeared. As the brunet scrolled, he realized that none of those videos looked interesting. Nor had they ever looked interesting before.

Suddenly, though, a video caught his eye.

"'Femboy gets fingered and fucked by his dom'?" Eren read aloud, his cock twitching at the thumbnail. He wasted no time pulling his clothes off and clicking the video.

When the video started, the smaller male, a brunet with green eyes and tan skin, was laying on a bed by himself. And he was naked. Within the next ten seconds, he was joined by another man, one with two-toned hair and hazel eyes and fair skin. 

The second man seemed desperate because he immediately started touching the smaller man, kissing his neck and trailing his hand down to the smaller's pert, pink nipples. Eren curiously moved to pinch at his own nipples, eliciting a sharp gasp from his slightly-chapped lips. The teen continued to pinch his nipples, feeling his cock twitch with each spark of painful pleasure.

"You already turned on for me, baby?" the two-toned man growled into the brunet's neck, nipping at the tan skin. The brunet only moaned in response, his hips bucking into the other man's palm.

"P-Please, Daddy!"

Three fingers were shoved into the brunet's mouth.

"Suck, you filthy whore."

The brunet obeyed instantly, laving his tongue around the digits to spread his saliva all over them. The two-toned man's free hand trailed down to the smaller man's cock, palming but not stroking. Eren copied the man's motions on himself, sucking at his own fingers and using his free hand to palm at his cock. 

Once the man's fingers were lubricated, he slid them from the brunet's lips and lined one up with his...

Eren was confused. Why would anybody want to stick their fingers... _there_? Though it seemed strange, the men had reason for doing it. So, he slid his own fingers from his mouth and lined one up with his hole, pushing in slowly.

Eren had never felt such immense pain. God, it hurt like a bitch. Eren had to bite his bottom lip to keep in his pained whimpers. He averted his eyes back to his computer screen, watching the brunet have the same reaction as he did. The two-toned man stilled his finger, giving the smaller man time to adjust. 

"You're doing great, baby. So good for me, such a tight little hole."

All of the man's hot growls went straight to Eren's cock.

After a few minutes, the pain subsided, leaving Eren with just a _weird_ feeling. It didn't feel bad or good. Just _weird_.

The man on the screen began to pull his finger out before pushing back in slowly, so Eren did the same. The slow, shallow thrusts started to feel sort of pleasurable, but not enough to convince Eren to keep going. Just as he was about to pull his finger out, the man on the screen started to talk again.

"Don't stop, baby. You're doing great. Just give yourself time, and I promise you'll feel good."

Eren bit his bottom lip, hesitating. He resumed his shallow thrusting, sighing when the pain fully dissipated. 

"Good boy."

Eren felt his knees turn to jelly. Soon, the two-toned man slid another finger into the brunet's hole, eliciting a long moan from him. Eren did the same, biting his lip to keep his noises in. If his father were to walk in on him fingering himself and watching gay porn...

Eren soon became excited and shoved another finger in, moaning aloud at the slight burn. He watched as the two-toned man angled his thrusts, and the young brunet copied his motions until he brushed something that made him shudder. 

"You feel that, baby? That's your prostate, and I'm going to tease it until you cry."

Eren whimpered, using his free hand to cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle his moans. The brunet in the video had also begun to whimper, begging the taller man to fuck him. 

"You just want me to fuck you? It's going to hurt. Do you want Daddy to hurt you?" 

The brunet in the video nodded vigorously, and Eren found himself doing the same. He could imagine his friend-- a two-toned boy named Jean-- holding him down and fingering him, making him beg to be fucked. Eren knew from earlier that day that Jean was _hung_.

"F-Fuck me," Eren mumbled, thrusting his fingers in and out of his hole faster. The pads of his fingers met his prostate with each thrust, making it hard for the boy to contain his moans that were steadily increasing in both volume and pitch. 

The men on the screen had already started fucking, the brunet moaning the two-toned man's name with each deep stroke.

"Fuck, J-Jean!" Eren groaned. The hand that was muffling his moans moved to grip at his sheets, keeping the boy grounded as his orgasm quickly approached. Eren had never felt such mind-blowing pleasure. His wide, emerald eyes were screwed shut, and his mouth hung open around unadulterated moans. 

"Eren, why are you being so loud-- What the fuck?"

Eren's eyes snapped open at the sound of his father's voice. 

"D-Dad, it isn't what it looks like!" Eren tried, yanking his fingers from his hole and slamming his laptop closed. His attempt proved futile as his father stormed into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

"You want to be gay, huh? You want to get fucked by a man? How about I show you how it feels to be fucked by a man?" 

"H-Huh? Dad, what are you--"

Grisha grabbed Eren's legs, flipping the boy onto his stomach and forcing his hips up into the air. Eren yelped in confusion and growing panic as he heard his father start to unbuckle his belt.

"Dad, no!"

"I'll show you how a real man fucks!"

That night, Eren laid in darkness, eyes wide open with tears streaming down his face. The sound of pants zipping and a belt being buckled was heard near the door.

"I hope you learned your lesson."


	2. Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Eren meet again.

Ten years later, Eren is as straight as a board. He has plenty of luck with the girls on his college campus, taking a new girl to bed just about every weekend.

His once shaggy brown hair has grown down to about the middle of his back and is kept in a bun. His emerald eyes are still wide and child-like, giving him an innocent look that causes his bedroom skills to be constantly underestimated. However, Eren considers himself a beast in bed; he's never not made a girl cum.

Sucks that he can't make himself cum when he fucks girls.

Fucking girls is great; they're soft and wet and yielding to his touches. And boobs are fun to play with. But he has to focus his attention elsewhere just to get hard. Once the girl cums, he pulls out and cleans her up and watches her leave. Then he masturbates and goes to sleep.

He's conversing with a new girl, a transfer student from Germany when he sees him.

Jean.

He hasn't seen Jean since the two-toned male graduated, two years after the incident. Eren had managed to... forget about the older man, focusing his sexual energy on girls even if he is never satisfied.

Eren prays that he doesn't get spotted. _Begs_ that he doesn't get spotted.

"Eren?"

Fuck.

Eren bids the girl goodbye and takes a deep breath, turning to face the two-toned male. His heart skips a beat as Jean gets closer, and he gets a good look at the older man's face.

Jean's face has always been on the longer side, but his jawline has never been this sharp. His amber eyes are boring holes into Eren, examining the younger male thoroughly.

When Jean is about a foot away, he stops walking and just looks at Eren.

Eren's parents aren't tall people, so Eren can't help that he stopped growing at 5'8. Jean had been fortunate enough to get a tall family, so the two-toned male stands at 6'4.

"Still small?"

"Fuck you," Eren retorts with a nervous smile, making the taller male chuckle lightly. Eren swallows around the growing lump in his throat.

"It's been a while, Yeager."

"You graduated and never came back to visit. I didn't even know where you were going to school."

"I lost myself for a while," Jean admits, scratching the back of his neck. "After high school, I worked for a long time until I was ready to come to college."

"And you chose this school?"

"Seems like it's good enough for you, so why not me?"

_Because you're a literal god among men._

Eren can't scrape together enough brain cells to think of a witty retort, so he just invites Jean back to his apartment.

"You thirsty? Hungry?" Eren asks, leading Jean into the living room and flopping down on his couch.

"A little thirsty. Got water?"

"Nope. No water. I just drink piss all the time," Eren snorts, walking to the kitchen and pulling a water and a beer from the fridge.

"You didn't say you had beer. Can I have one?"

Eren rolls his eyes, walking back to the kitchen and switching the water out for another beer. He flops down onto the couch next to Jean, opening his beer and taking a sip. Jean does the same.

"So, what's your major?" Jean asks, turning to look at Eren as he speaks. Eren is a little nervous at the intensity of Jean's gaze, but he collects himself.

"Medicine."

"What specific medicine, dummy."

_Oh yeah._

"Business medicine. Dad's getting busier since the business is growing, so he'll need someone to help him manage."

"Grisha? The homophobic doctor?"

Eren sighs.

"Yep. That's him."

"That's a shame he's homophobic. He has such a beautiful son that I would love to take out on a date."

He isn't talking about Eren. There's _no way_ he's talking about Eren.

"Unfortunately for you, Zeke is also homophobic. And married to a woman. And has two children."

Jean only chuckles, downing the rest of his beer and scooting closer to Eren. Eren feels his face begin to heat up.

"We both know I'm not talking about Zeke."

Eren casts his gaze away from Jean, finishing his beer.

"Eren, do you remember when you saw my dick in the locker room that time?"

Eren remembers it like yesterday. The cock had to be at least eight inches, thick and circumcised and mouth-watering. The shaft was accompanied by nice-sized balls that looked full of cum--

"Yes... I remember," Eren croaks, his voice barely above a whisper. He can feel his face heat up further as the two-toned male scooted closer, the tips of their noses brushing lightly.

"I saw you staring. You were blushing so cutely."

Jean places one hand on one of Eren's thighs, squeezing gently and making the brunet gasp.

"I was so turned on by you looking at me. I went home and scoured the internet for a video of a guy that looked like you."

Eren wonders if he and Jean had watched the same video.

"It was about a cute little twink getting fingered by this guy who looked like me. It was so hot. I imagined I was fingering you and making you beg for me to fuck you."

Jean's hand slides farther up Eren's thigh, the tip of his thumb ghosting over Eren's hardening cock. The brunet stifles a pitiful whimper.

Jean leans in even closer, their lips barely millimeters apart. Eren doesn't realize that he's stopped breathing until he feels Jean's beer-breath ghost across his face. Eren takes a shaky, shallow breath in, breathing the same air that Jean had let out. Jean's hand moves from Eren's thigh up to cradle the side of his head.

"I want you, Eren. Have wanted you for ages."

Jean leans in closer, lightly touching his lips to Eren's.

Emerald eyes slip shut as the brunet relaxes into the press of lips, allowing Jean to control the depth and speed of the kiss. It starts slow, the two men doing nothing more than moving their lips with each other. Eren can't help but let out pitiful noises of want, whimpering softly each time Jean's lips slide against his own.

Jean's hand massages Eren's scalp in time with the kiss, and his free hand moves up to rub Eren's clothed chest. One of the taller man's fingers catches on a nipple, making Eren gasp shakily. Jean pulls away slowly, still running his finger over Eren's nipple.

"Oh? Do you like that?" he whispers against Eren's ear, licking at the shell. The two-toned male slips his hand under the hem of Eren's shirt, cool fingers traveling up Eren's hot, bare skin. Jean's fingers find the nipple again, pinching and pulling at the hardened nub.

"J-Jean..."

Jean leans up and presses his lips back to Eren's, kissing deeper. This time, Eren pushes them deeper, licking into Jean's mouth shyly. He slides his tongue across Jean's, making the taller male groan. He quickly shakes back, though, moving his tongue past Eren's and into the brunet's mouth.

Eren can still taste the beer on Jean's tongue, and he briefly wonders if Jean can taste the beer on his.

"You wanna do it here?"

Emerald eyes snap open.

"D-Do it? Like _sex_?"

"Do you not want to have sex? Did I read the situation wrong?"

The brunet can feel his entire body cringe at the thought of being penetrated. Ten years is a long time, but not long enough.

"I... um..."

"I'm sorry if I'm moving too fast! I shouldn't have automatically assumed you wanted me anyway..."

"I do!" Eren blurts. "I just... I can't have sex..."

"Why not?"

_"You want to be gay, huh? You want to get fucked by a man? How about I show you how it feels to be fucked by a man?"_

The words echo in Eren's head.

"I-I um..."

Eren can't gather himself. Can't think of anything other than his father. Can barely _breathe_.

"D-Dad! Stop!"

"Eren? Are you okay?"

Eren slaps Jean's hands off him.

"Don't touch me!"

Eren is dizzy. His head hurts. His mouth is dry. He's nauseous. He's crying.

He vaguely feels his body curl into a ball on the couch. Blood pounds in his brain, and his ears are ringing with his father's words.

_"Men would love this tight little hole of yours. Good thing your dear old dad is here to break it in for them!"_

"D-Dad, it hurts! Please!"

He didn't like it. The friction between his bloody walls and his father's raw cock. The ache in his limbs from his father's strong hands pinning him down. The scratchiness in his throat from screaming for his father to stop.

_"Eren!"_

"N-No! Stop!"

_"Eren!"_

"Eren!"

Eren's eyes snap open, and he heaves in a deep breath, shooting up from the couch.

"J-Jean?"

The taller male pulls Eren into a tight embrace, rocking the smaller male gently.

"Eren, it's just me. I'm not going to hurt you."

Is Jean crying?

"W-Wait, why are you--"

"You scared the _shit_ out of me!"

Eren's breathing is normal now. He's okay. He needs to check on Jean.

"Are you okay--"

"No, Eren," the two-toned male interrupts, pulling back from the embrace to look Eren in the eye. "Are _you_ okay? Why were you screaming for your dad to stop? Did he hurt you?"

"He... He um..."

He takes a deep breath.

"He raped me..."

"I'll kill him."

"Wait, what?"

"I'll kill that old bastard. How could he?"

"He was so hellbent on me not being gay, so I guess he was trying to fuck it out of me," Eren answers with a dry laugh. Jean's deadly-serious gaze doesn't falter.

"That wasn't funny, Eren."

"I know."

The two sit in silence for a while. Jean is thinking. Eren is calming his breathing.

"I'll wait until you're ready."

Eren cocks a brow.

"What?"

"I still want you. Not just physically but emotionally. We don't have to have sex, not now. Not ever, if that's what you want. But I want to be with you."

Eren laughs a bit.

"What's funny?"

"You just watched me have a panic attack after not seeing me for years, and that's your first thought?"

"I'm sorry if that's not what you want! I just didn't know what else to say, but I wanted to reassure you that I'm not just here for sex! Actually, that's the last thing I'm here for! Unless you want sex, which I would gladly participate--"

Eren shuts him up with a gentle press to his lips. Jean kisses back just as gently.

"Sorry. I started rambling."

"I'll try this. With you."


End file.
